8 outdated behaviors that instantly make you seem out of touch—no matter your age

You don’t need to be over 60 to seem out of touch.

Sometimes it’s not about how old you are—it’s about the habits you carry that just don’t land anymore. And I’m not talking about fashion choices or whether you use emojis "correctly." I mean the subtle behavioral patterns that quietly signal to others that you’ve stopped evolving.

I’ve met people in their twenties who sound like they’re stuck in a time warp—and people in their sixties who are so plugged in and perceptive, they feel decades younger.

So if you’re wondering why you might be getting side-eyed during meetings, being left out of social conversations, or not connecting the way you used to… it might be time to do a little audit.

Here are eight habits that can instantly make you seem outdated—plus what to do instead.

1. Talking down about “kids these days”

If I had a dollar for every time someone dismissed an entire generation with “No one wants to work anymore” or “Gen Z is too sensitive,” I’d probably be writing this from my off-grid cabin in the mountains.

Let’s be honest—this kind of commentary isn’t edgy. It’s tired. And it usually says more about the speaker’s rigidity than the world’s supposed “decline.”

As organizational psychologist Adam Grant once said, “If knowledge is power, knowing what we don’t know is wisdom.” When you stop being curious about the way younger generations think, communicate, and challenge the norm, you stop growing.

Instead of rolling your eyes at change, try engaging with it. Ask questions. Listen without trying to correct. You don’t have to agree with everything—but openness creates connection. Dismissiveness shuts it down.

2. Refusing to learn new technology

Let’s talk tech resistance.

We all know that one person who says, “I’m terrible with technology” with a chuckle—as if it’s some quirky personality trait. But refusing to adapt to digital tools isn’t charming. It’s isolating.

Whether it’s ignoring cloud-based collaboration platforms, avoiding smartphone functions beyond texting, or refusing to use digital calendars—this resistance doesn’t make you look principled. It makes you look like you’ve tapped out.

No one’s asking you to become a coder. But if you can’t figure out how to unmute yourself on Zoom after four years of remote work being the norm… people start making assumptions.

Competence builds trust. Even a basic willingness to learn sends the signal that you’re engaged, open, and self-aware.

3. Name-dropping old institutions to prove your relevance

I used to work with someone who loved to reference their Ivy League education from the 1980s. Everything was “Back when I studied under so-and-so at Stanford…” or “In business school, we learned…”

While experience matters, relying too heavily on legacy names and institutions can backfire. It can come off as stuck, or worse—clutching to credentials instead of evolving with context.

The truth is, credibility today isn’t about where you went to school 30 years ago—it’s about whether you’ve kept learning since. Have you stayed curious? Are you open to new voices, even if they don’t come with pedigrees?

Wisdom ages well. But it needs fresh air to breathe.

4. Making everything about “back in my day”

I get it. We all have memories tied to simpler times. But starting every story with “When I was younger…” or “That’s not how we did things back in the day…” sends a subtle signal that you believe the present is inferior.

And that? That’s a fast way to lose your audience.

There’s a big difference between sharing nostalgia and framing the present as a constant disappointment. The first invites connection. The second creates distance.

I once caught myself doing this while mentoring a younger colleague. I kept comparing everything to how we handled things “before smartphones were a thing.” Eventually she said, “That’s cool, but can we talk about how to do it now?”

Point taken.

Want to be relatable? Talk about what’s happening now. Adapt your stories. Make room for both the past and the present.

5. Dismissing changing language as “too complicated”

Language evolves. Always has, always will. But when people roll their eyes at new pronouns, dismiss inclusive terminology, or gripe about “not being allowed to say anything anymore”—what they’re really expressing is resistance to growth.

As psychologist Dr. Thema Bryant notes, “Cultural humility is not about knowing everything—it’s about being willing to learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

I’ve heard people say, “It’s just too much to keep up with.” And I get it—change can feel overwhelming. But learning someone’s identity, or adjusting your language to be more respectful, isn’t about being politically correct. It’s about being human.

When you resist that, you’re not making a bold statement. You’re just broadcasting that your empathy has an expiration date.

6. Using email like it’s 2003

If you’re still sending Word doc attachments instead of Google Docs, starting every message with “Dear Sir or Madam,” or replying all to every chain—you might be unknowingly sending the message that you’re stuck in a different digital decade.

Email isn’t dead. But the way we use it has changed.

Clarity, brevity, and ease-of-collaboration are now the gold standard. People skim. They use bullet points. They expect shareable links and embedded visuals, not three-page essays that bury the point in the fourth paragraph.

Worse? If you ignore tools like Slack, Notion, Loom, or even just calendar invites, you’re not just slowing things down—you’re opting out of how communication actually works in modern spaces.

And that makes it harder for others to keep you in the loop.

7. Using outdated humor rooted in stereotypes

Let’s be blunt: jokes that punch down don’t age well.

You might think you’re being “old-school funny,” but comments that rely on race, gender, age, or generational stereotypes are less about humor and more about revealing outdated mindsets.

It’s not just a matter of being offensive—it’s a matter of being unoriginal.

As emotional intelligence expert Daniel Goleman has emphasized, “Empathy begins with understanding life from another person’s perspective.” Humor that excludes or mocks difference is usually a sign that someone hasn’t done that work.

Funny doesn’t have to mean edgy. In fact, observational humor, self-deprecation, and shared human quirks go a lot further these days. Especially in diverse and collaborative spaces.

Don’t cling to the old punchlines. Find new ones that bring people in—not push them away.

8. Treating personal growth like a one-and-done achievement

I’ll admit something here: there was a time I thought I had “figured it out.”

I’d read the books, gone to therapy, journaled, meditated, done the whole introspective spiral—and thought, “Great. I’m evolved now.”

But that belief? It was the most outdated thing I carried.

Personal growth isn’t a destination. It’s a process. When we start thinking of self-awareness as a box we’ve checked, we stop noticing our own blind spots. We resist feedback. We explain away our habits instead of examining them.

And when that happens, we don’t just stall. We start slowly falling out of alignment with the world around us.

I had a wake-up call during a difficult conversation with a friend, where I realized I’d been deflecting—not listening. That moment reminded me that no matter how much I think I know, there’s always more to unlearn.

Staying current doesn’t mean reinventing yourself every six months. It means being willing to reflect honestly, shift your habits when they no longer serve, and stay open to being wrong.

That’s not just relevant. That’s real maturity.

Final thoughts

Outdated behaviors aren’t about how many years you’ve lived. They’re about how long it’s been since you updated your mindset.

It’s tempting to believe that wisdom comes automatically with age. But the truth is, relevance is a choice. And it’s not about keeping up with pop culture or knowing how to use BeReal—it’s about showing up with curiosity, openness, and adaptability.

So, which of these habits hit a little too close?

If even one of them made you pause, take that as a good sign. You’re awake. You’re paying attention. And that’s the first step to staying in touch—not just with the world, but with yourself.

Because the people who stay the most relevant—at any age—are the ones who never stop learning.

And that’s a trait that never goes out of style.