Some phrases feel small—until you watch someone’s shoulders drop. That’s when you know connection just clicked.
We all size each other up within seconds, and in those moments language is your biggest ally.
Over the years I’ve noticed that a handful of sentences soften defenses, pull people in, and invite cooperation—whether I’m pitching an idea at a farmers’-market meeting or calming tense teammates back in my finance days.
Below are the six phrases I lean on again and again.
Each one is grounded in solid research, sprinkled with real-world experience, and ready to test in your next conversation.
1. Tell me more
Those three words signal one thing: I’m listening.
Psychologists call this active listening, and it does more than help you collect facts—it tells the speaker their thoughts matter, which sparks trust.
Stephen Covey nailed it: “Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand. Most people listen with the intent to reply.”
When you ask “Tell me more,” you flip that script. The other person feels seen, and their brain releases a little oxytocin—the same bonding hormone that helps newborns trust their parents.
That cocktail of attention and warm chemistry makes you the safe port in the storm.
I use this phrase when a friend hints at frustration or a colleague hesitates during a brainstorming call. It turns monologues into dialogues and criticism into collaboration.
2. I don’t know, but I’ll find out
Admitting limits can feel risky, yet research shows transparency boosts credibility—especially when you pair it with a plan.
I learned this the hard way during my analyst era. A senior executive once fired off a question in a meeting; I guessed, and my guess unraveled in front of twenty people.
Humbling. From then on I owned gaps in my knowledge and followed up with answers. Strangely, clients trusted me more after that shift.
Use the phrase when you hit a knowledge wall.
It shows honesty (you’re not bluffing) and competence (you’ll close the gap). Two trust triggers in one breath.
3. You’re right—I hadn’t considered that
Acknowledging another person’s insight, even when it clashes with your own, earns instant respect.
Studies on managerial candor find that leaders who admit oversights are seen as more authentic and trustworthy.
I lean on this sentence during negotiations. It disarms friction because it tells the other side, “Your perspective has value.” The hidden bonus?
You keep the door open for compromise without sacrificing your own stance—you simply integrate their angle into the solution.
Try it the next time your partner points out something you missed. Watch how quickly the conversation shifts from blame to problem-solving.
4. Here’s what I can do
Clarity beats vagueness every time. As Brené Brown reminds us, “Clear is kind.”
When someone needs help, jumping straight to specifics telegraphs reliability. The phrase sets boundaries—what you can offer and by when—so expectations stay realistic.
People trust what they can see, and concrete offers are visible promises.
In practice it looks like: “Shipping has slipped three days. Here’s what I can do: call the carrier now, reroute priority orders, and email you an update before lunch.”
Notice how the spotlight stays on the action, not the drama.
5. Because…
A tiny word with outsized impact. In Ellen Langer’s classic “copy-machine” experiment, adding a reason after because nearly doubled compliance rates.
Reasons satisfy our craving for logic, even when we don’t probe them deeply. So tack a brief why onto your requests:
“Could you review this draft today because it goes to the printer at 5?”
The explanation frames urgency, shows respect for the other person’s time, and makes the ask feel fair. Fairness breeds trust.
6. Thank you for sharing that
Gratitude isn’t just polite; it’s pro-social glue. A week of simple gratitude journaling raised participants’ willingness to trust strangers in laboratory games.
When someone opens up—be it feedback, a fear, or a family story—thanking them validates the risk they just took.
That validation doubles as permission: it signals future disclosures are welcome, reinforcing the trust loop.
I often close tough one-on-ones with this phrase. It lets the other person exhale and leaves the door wide open for the next conversation.
Final thoughts
Trust rarely blooms through grand gestures. More often it drips in, phrase by phrase, until you look up and realize the relationship feels easy.
Pick one of these sentences and weave it into your day. Note how eyes soften, postures relax, and collaborations flow. Then add another.
Before long you’ll notice people leaning in—because they trust the person who chose words that put connection first.
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