8 “signature” cocktails the middle class still think impress people

There’s something funny about cocktails. They were once the badge of sophistication, the mark of someone who “knew their drinks.”

But somewhere along the way, a lot of what was considered impressive in the 2000s and 2010s stopped being, well, impressive.

It’s not that these drinks are bad. Some of them are genuinely delicious. It’s that they’ve become a bit of a performance, a leftover flex from a time when people equated a fancy glass and a drizzle of syrup with status.

These days, truly impressive cocktails aren’t loud. They’re understated. They respect balance, ingredients, and craft. They don’t scream for attention; they whisper quality.

Let’s talk about the ones that didn’t quite get that memo. Here are eight cocktails that many people still think impress others, but really just signal you haven’t updated your bar IQ in a while.

1) The Espresso Martini

I get it, it’s tasty, it looks sleek, and it gives you a caffeine kick. But let’s be real, the espresso martini has become the “pumpkin spice latte” of cocktails. Everyone loves to roll their eyes at it, yet half the room still orders one after dinner.

It was cool once. Back in the late ’90s, London bartender Dick Bradsell famously created it for a model who wanted something that would “wake her up and then mess her up.” It was sharp, bold, and chic. In that era, it symbolized cosmopolitan cool, the nightlife version of a black turtleneck.

Today? It’s everywhere. It’s on the menu at chain restaurants, in airport lounges, and at weddings with mirror photo booths. When a drink goes that mainstream, it stops being a statement.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t enjoy one, it’s actually a fantastic drink when made with real espresso and not coffee syrup. But if you’re ordering it because you think it’ll make you look sophisticated, the only thing it really says is, “I saw this on Instagram.”

You want to impress? Try a Cold Brew Negroni or a Black Manhattan. Same caffeine-meets-cocktail vibe, but way more interesting.

2) The Old Fashioned

This one hurts, because I genuinely love an Old Fashioned. It’s simple, balanced, and built on good whiskey, and when done right, it’s close to perfect.

The issue isn’t the drink itself. It’s the performance around it. The Old Fashioned became the go-to “I’m classy” drink for middle-class men in the 2010s.

You can thank Mad Men for that. Don Draper turned it into a cultural accessory, the amber-colored badge of seriousness and masculinity.

But here’s the thing, real cocktail lovers aren’t ordering it to feel suave. They’re exploring rye variations, smoked ice cubes, or swapping out sugar cubes for house-made syrup. They know what goes into it, and they care about the whiskey.

Meanwhile, the “try-hard” Old Fashioned crowd is ordering it to look like they have taste, not to taste it.

If that stings a little, maybe it should. There’s a difference between drinking with confidence and drinking for validation.

If you still love whiskey, great, just skip the theatrics. Go for a Boulevardier or a Paper Plane. They show real understanding of balance and flavor.

3) The Mojito

Few drinks have fallen from grace like the mojito. Once seen as the ultimate tropical refreshment, it’s now the drink bartenders quietly dread.

A proper mojito, crisp lime, fresh mint, good rum, a touch of sugar, topped with soda, can be heavenly. The problem is, almost no one makes it properly. Most bars churn out sugary slush with wilted mint and flat soda, then charge twelve bucks for it.

That’s why it lost its shine. The mojito became shorthand for “I want something fun and beachy,” not “I appreciate craft.”

And the truth is, it’s a hard drink to pull off in a busy bar. Crushing mint, balancing sweetness, and maintaining fizz take care and timing, and that’s not what most people ordering it actually notice.

If you want something refreshing but with a bit more personality, order a Caipirinha. It’s Brazil’s national cocktail, made with cachaça, lime, and sugar, same general vibe, but less cliché and more character.

4) The Cosmopolitan

You probably saw this one coming.

The cosmopolitan will forever be tied to Sex and the City, which means ordering one now feels like stepping straight into a 2003 rerun.

To be fair, when it first blew up, it represented a kind of freedom, women reclaiming the cocktail world from whiskey-soaked boardrooms. It was pink, unapologetic, and stylish. But the problem is, it got stuck there.

It became a symbol of “I’m glamorous” for a generation that thought a frosted martini glass automatically meant sophistication. And while there’s nothing wrong with nostalgia, it doesn’t translate to class anymore.

Today’s impressive drinks are less “pretty in pink” and more “unexpected and layered.” Think a Lychee Martini, a Pisco Sour, or a Clover Club. They have history, flavor, and intrigue, things the cosmopolitan lost the moment it became everyone’s bachelorette drink.

Enjoy it if you like it, but don’t expect anyone to be wowed.

5) The Margarita (especially the neon kind)

Now, this one’s tricky because a real margarita is a thing of beauty. Tequila, lime, and a touch of agave, that’s all you need.

But somewhere along the way, the margarita got hijacked by industrial mixers and giant glasses. The middle-class “showstopper” version is usually bright green, rimmed with salt like a salt mine, and served with a straw thick enough to snorkel with.

Sure, it looks festive. It photographs well. But that’s exactly the problem, it’s a drink designed to be seen, not savored.

The people who truly appreciate agave spirits are drinking Tommy’s Margaritas, no orange liqueur, just pure lime and agave sweetness. Or they’re sipping reposado neat, appreciating how terroir affects flavor.

One version says “I’m celebrating,” the other says “I have taste.” Guess which one actually impresses the bartender.

6) The Aperol Spritz

If you’ve been to a rooftop bar anytime in the past five years, you’ve seen them, rows of orange spritzes gleaming in the sunset like Aperol lanterns.

The Aperol Spritz had its golden age. It was marketed as this symbol of effortless Italian chic, the drink of people who summer in Positano and own linen shirts.

Then the backlash hit. A few years ago, The New York Times even published a headline saying, “The Aperol Spritz Is Not a Good Drink.” And honestly? They weren’t wrong.

It’s pretty, it’s refreshing, but it’s also a bit hollow. It’s the kind of drink that tastes like an idea, not a craft.

In Italy, it’s what you sip before dinner while waiting for your real drink to arrive. It’s not the centerpiece.

Yet for a while, people treated it like the pinnacle of sophistication, posting endless orange-filled selfies with captions like ciao bella.

Want to keep that same easygoing vibe but with more substance? Try a Negroni Sbagliato, made with prosecco instead of gin, or a Campari and soda with a twist of grapefruit. They look just as chic but carry more flavor and story.

7) The Pornstar Martini

Let’s be honest, this cocktail’s name alone guaranteed its fame. But behind that playful branding is something pretty telling about modern middle-class indulgence.

It’s flashy. It’s sweet. It’s Instagram gold. And it’s the kind of drink people order because it feels “naughty” without being risky.

Passionfruit, vanilla vodka, and prosecco on the side, the Pornstar Martini was designed for attention. It’s dessert disguised as sophistication.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying it. But pretending it’s a mark of refined taste is like saying your Tesla makes you an auto enthusiast.

The real connoisseurs aren’t ordering the sparkly stuff. They’re sipping Daiquiris, the original elegant kind Hemingway drank, or Sidecars made with good cognac and restraint.

That’s the thing about taste, it’s not about how loud you are, but how deliberate you are.

8) The Long Island Iced Tea

And finally, the heavyweight champion of questionable taste.

The Long Island Iced Tea is what happens when you mistake more for better. It’s five spirits in one glass, a splash of cola, and a prayer.

It’s not a cocktail. It’s chaos. And yet, for years, people ordered it thinking it was a secret bartender’s drink, a power move.

Let me save you some trouble, bartenders don’t respect it. They make it for the tipsy crowd trying to “get their money’s worth.”

It’s not refined, it’s not subtle, and it’s not going to impress anyone who’s ever read a bar menu.

If you want something strong that still shows taste, order a Sazerac or a Vesper Martini. They’re potent, clean, and steeped in history. That’s confidence.

The bottom line

Here’s the thing, you don’t have to chase “impressive” drinks to have good taste.

Cocktails, like fashion, evolve. What was once bold and exclusive becomes mainstream, and then it’s time to move on.

Real sophistication isn’t about the glassware or the garnish. It’s about understanding why a drink works, appreciating balance, and recognizing quality when you taste it.

The people who truly love cocktails aren’t trying to show off. They’re curious. They ask questions. They respect the craft.

So the next time you’re at a bar and you catch yourself ordering something just because it looks cool or sounds fancy, pause for a second. Ask yourself, do I actually like this, or am I just performing?

Because in the end, the most impressive drink you can order isn’t the one that makes people notice you. It’s the one that makes you happy to take the first sip.